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Casual dating in Brunei

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Dating Or Going Out Just

The adult dating phase of a relationship is an extremely crucial facet of relationship building. This is a right time designed for learning, for sharing - thoughts, expectations, wishes, fears - and for bonding. If we skip this significant phase, what subsequently, are we taking upon ourselves?

My 13-year-old son virtually summed right up what passes for the progression of romantic relationships today such as this:

“Two people go out together for some time with a lot of other people, ” he said. “ Next, they decide they wanna acquire married, have some kids, decide they don't like each other and what they've gotten themselves into, get a separation and divorce, and have to pay child support. ”

His explanation, sadly, is almost dead-on. Is this genuinely what we aspire to? What is happening in this article? Are we genuinely "skipping" the dating stage completely, leaping from intro to engagement without ever really taking the time to access know each other? Without any true bonding or connection building at all? Have we, as a society, entirely eliminated the true “date” and opted for merely “ hanging out ” instead?

Today, we hear lovers say they are going on a day, and then usually the pair attends some group performance or outing in a good public place where lots of their close friends are gathered. They all just " hang out " collectively, at the mall or at the movies, making what was supposed to be a time of sharing and getting to know one another more of a group social celebration than anything.

Perhaps something vital is being left out of most relationships today, and that something is the dating phase.

It wasn't always this way. Once there was a "pecking purchase " for all things relationship-py, and it went something like this: There was an intro, which progressed to occasional meetings at adult-chaperoned activities, and then came the dating stage .

The purpose of dating, then, could be described as a phase of time in two people's day-to-day lives spent together as a couple in order to get to know one another better as individual people, on an one-on-one basis.

Time spent together out from the shadow of their peers, during which they could be themselves … their real, real selves … and decide if who and what each of them were like individuals would be better, stronger, more capable and beautiful merged into a single entity, which it might be, if they came together as a couple .

If and only if this dating stage of a connection went well ( meaning the pair involved decided, based on time spent together getting to know each other on a deeper, more personal stage, that the ingredients necessary for a long- expression, forever kind of relationship were found between them), there was usually a great engagement announced, and finally, a marriage.

Consider this the next time you're asked to go on a day. Are you truly dating? Or are you just hanging out? You'll know.

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